13.The Cost of Sharing: When Love Starts to Feel Like Second Place.

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Sharing is not always caring.

Imagine meeting someone after years of guarding your heart. You let them in, slowly, cautiously. You begin to share your life—the pieces you don’t give easily. You support them through their storms, help them find their way when they’re lost… and just when you think you’ve built something unshakable, the balance shifts.

You fall on hard times, and instead of meeting you there, they find a new interest.
An interest that was meant to be shared.
But circumstances change, and now they’re doing it… alone.
With someone else.

What was once yours—a shared journey—becomes theirs.
And you’re left wondering, When did I stop being included?

You argue.
First, about what a “secret” really means.
To them, a delay in disclosure is deception.
To you, it was timing.
But suddenly you’re judged by standards they only apply when it suits them.

Then the second cut:
They call the new person a “benefit.”
Like you’re a cost.
Like the person who once lifted them up now offers nothing.
As if your value expired the moment someone else came into view.

The worst part?
You don’t even get the courtesy of pretending it’s all still equal.

You’re hearing less.
Being invited last.
Watching from the sidelines as they laugh and grow closer to someone new.
And all you get is:
“Oh, we’re going out—do you want to come?”

When did it stop being “we”?
When did you become the third wheel in your own relationship?

Cinema nights, bowling, ice cream runs, theater trips…
They choose everything—but not you.
You’re suddenly an option, not a priority.

But when it’s them needing support, suddenly you’re back on the frontline.
Expected to give without question, sacrifice without thought.
Funny how that works.

You’re no longer in the loop.
You’re finding out plans from the children.
You overhear conversations meant for you—but they’re now whispered to someone else.

And then the ultimate slap in the face:
“They remind me so much of you.”
Except… it isn’t you.
It’s someone who got the best parts of you through them—your time, your energy, your compassion—all passed on without your consent.

They took what was yours and offered it freely to someone else.

No wonder you feel betrayed.
No wonder your heart is breaking.
You weren’t asked to share—you were just expected to.
And when you questioned it, you were made to feel unreasonable.
Over-emotional.
Petty.

But you’re not.

You’re human.
You gave and gave and now you’re empty.
You feel pushed aside, replaced, devalued.
And you’re tired of pretending it doesn’t hurt.

This wasn’t about jealousy.
It was about respect.
And when that left, so did the safety in your bond.

So maybe it’s time to stop sharing what was never meant to be split in half.
Maybe it’s time to find what’s just yours again—before there’s nothing left to salvage.