20. Power Plays & Parenting: Lessons from the Garden Shed.

In an attempt to teach the simple lesson of following instructions and doing as you’re told I lost the fight.

• Crime: Detention at school
• Punishment: Flatten an area in the garden to prepare for a shed

How did I lose?

Simple. My child understands me better than I realised.

She knows that if she puts in a half-hearted effort just enough to technically follow instructions but not enough to do it properly it’ll annoy me to the point that I’ll step in and finish the task myself.
Job avoided. Mission accomplished (on her terms).

Now, when she was working on the shed area without me around, she was actually more productive. But as soon as I joined her? The game-playing began.

What’s the real lesson here?

I need to learn to step back.
Let her make the mess, do her nonsense but then make her fix it.

I’ve realised I need to correct my own behaviour too especially how I respond. If I allow myself to get wound up, I lose control of the situation.

So here’s the new plan:

• Give the instruction.
• Step away.
• Come back to assess the work.
• If it’s not up to standard, get her to repeat it until it is.

Sounds simple on paper.
Much harder in practice.

The frustration that comes with defiance is intense. But I mustn’t rise to the bait. I need to stay composed.

And to be fair, I did eventually regain my composure and I got the task done. It just took a lot out of me.

I’ve raised strong-headed individuals.
To survive this journey, I need to be even stronger.
I need to stay focused and see the bigger picture this isn’t just about garden tasks, it’s about shaping character.