Real Talk: Diary of a Seriously Fcked Off Parent

32. Failed Again: The Reality of Social Services and the Trauma of False Allegations.

After everything I’ve been through, I can’t believe I’m hearing that Social Services have dropped the ball again.

I’m a mother of two, and I would do anything to protect my children. Their father, who wanted nothing to do with them once our relationship ended, has left me in a position where I’ve been penalised and investigated under a Children in Need plan.

For those who aren’t familiar, a Children in Need plan is a designation placed on a parent (in my case, me) for alleged abuse to a child.

Now, before anyone gets too judgmental, let me clarify: the allegations of abuse came from the absent father. He only made them after I finally took him to the Child Support Agency (CSA) for non-payment of child support over the course of 10 years. He didn’t want to pay, so he did whatever he could to avoid it, weaponising my eldest daughter against me in the process.

Social Services were all too quick to believe the lies, even though the initial allegations were closed after just a week. But he made another claim within three months, and it all started again. For two years, I suffered under the weight of these false accusations.

My children had no marks, no bruises—nothing. The claim for emotional abuse? It was about my refusal to conform to peer (teen) pressure and let them do whatever they pleased.

It’s been four months since the case was closed, with my youngest now 16, and I still feel guilty for a crime I never committed.

And then, I hear about “Star,” a baby who couldn’t speak for herself, with bruises and clear evidence of abuse. Yet, they failed to intervene in time, and this poor child was left to die.

I’m so angry, not just for the destruction of my family as a result of Social Services’ actions, but because if they had treated Star’s case with the same urgency and attention they gave mine, she, Victoria, and Baby P might still be alive today.

31. The Manipulative Gremlin Phase: Are Our Kids Just Testing Us?

We all know children push boundaries, but sometimes they really know how to push you to your limits.

They turn into these manipulative little gremlins, and you find yourself wishing you could lock them in a cage until they revert back to the decent kids you once knew.

Imagine the cunning thoughts and actions they come up with to outsmart you, the parent. The worst part? When you’re constantly in your child’s space, you miss some of the little signals that they’re trying to pull one over on you.

Then, before you know it, you’ve been swindled out of something and feel like a total fool.

As much as you try to hide the embarrassment of being duped by your own child, sometimes it all just becomes too much.

So here’s the real question: Do children really enjoy making their parents look stupid? Or are we, as parents, just becoming too sensitive to the fact that they’re simply trying to find their way?

30. Letting Go: A Parent’s Struggle with the First Big Step.

We spend our lives caring, sharing, and protecting, only to be told that we need to let go for the sake of our children’s emotional and mental development.

But when is the right time? What if I let go too soon? Or not soon enough?

Today was the day I decided to make space for growth and give her that freedom.

I can honestly say, I’m more than worried about my daughter’s safety. This is her first outing that requires her to come home alone, after her usual 6:30 curfew.

She, on the other hand, has taken it all in stride like it’s just any other day. I should be proud that she’s so confident, and I am, but the parent in me is still worried.

I just hope she remembers everything I’ve taught her and makes it home safe.

🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

Oh my god, she made it. I can finally breathe.

29. How dare you! From Hero to Villain: The Changing Role of a Parent.

From the moment you first laid eyes on your child, it was the happiest day of your life.

You watched as they learned to say “mama” and “dada,” and you marveled as they discovered their hands, feet, and even their reflection.

Then, they began to crawl, expand their vocabulary, stand for the first time, take their first steps, and eventually walk, jump, and run.

They started school, and you helped with homework, made sure they were safe, and ensured they were stimulated both mentally and physically. You protected them with everything you had, making sure no harm came their way.

And then one day, suddenly, you become the worst thing in the world. You watch as your child shows more empathy and consideration to a stray cat than to you.

Heaven help you if you need something done. How dare you, as a parent, ask your child for even a single thing.

“HOW DARE YOU!”

“Mum, leave me alone!”

28. Divorce: What I Wish I Knew Before taking the Leap

Growing up, divorce wasn’t something that was openly discussed. Not many people I knew had gone through it, at least not publicly. Most couples I knew stayed married, unless a partner passed away. But in private, many of those relationships had ended long ago only the finances, children, and security kept them together.

I decided that wasn’t the life I wanted. I couldn’t live that way, not for me, and certainly not for the girls. The poison of an unhappy relationship would have been too much to handle.

So, when I chose to get a divorce, I had no real guidance on what it would mean for me and my girls. I did what any good parent would do, made the best choice I could based on what I knew at the time.

But if I could tell myself one thing back then, it would be this:

The paperwork is just the beginning.
You’re never fully severed from the other parent once children are involved.
Be prepared to be blamed for everything.
If you made the choice to split, be ready for the wrath of the absent parent.
No matter how long you wait as a woman to move on, it’s never long enough.
Get the missing parent’s role covered, or find a way to cover it yourself.
Seek help for your children’s emotional needs.
Pay close attention to the information your children receive from the absent parent.

I could go on and on, but here’s the truth: All the research and book reading you did before your first child? You need to do just as much, if not more, when it comes to your divorce.

It’s been almost 10 years now, and I’m still dodging bullets.

😁😄😆

27. When Did Children Become the Parents? Reclaiming Our Authority

When did children become the ones calling the shots? When did we, as parents, lose our power to command our homes?

I’ll tell you when. It was when we started prioritising the wants of our children over their actual needs. It happened when we became so obsessed with protecting their feelings that we forgot to protect our own.

Today’s children are extremely smart, and we have to acknowledge that, thanks to easy access to information at their fingertips, they know more than we sometimes realise.

Now, children are telling parents what they want, when they want it, and what their rights are. Parents where are we? Where am I? Who am I?

16/12/2025

Just seen a clip of my violent child, I am heartbroken.

26. Rebuilding After the Pandemic: A Parent’s Struggle to Find Normal.

We’ve been told to return to our lives as we once knew them, to accept the changes we’ve faced, and to brace ourselves for even more. Or, we’re told to prepare for a near lockdown again.

That’s easy for others to say. The last 18 months have been hell. I’ve had teenagers cooped up in the house with me, their only parent, as they desperately tried to break free from my rules and push every boundary. It’s been like playing table tennis, with me as the ball.

But now, off to school or university they go, and back to my life I go. But can I?

I’ve lost so much during this pandemic. I’ve been through more than I ever imagined—mental health struggles, battling Covid, and facing the possibility that my children were going to lose their only parent.

I’ve watched my children transform into shadows of themselves, struggling in a world that I couldn’t fully protect them from. And yet, through it all, I’ve continued to love and protect them, even from themselves, with no space to breathe. I’ve endured so much, I’m not sure when or if I’ll ever feel “normal” again.

I can say, without hesitation, that I hate my house. I’m not even sure I like my children at times, although I know I love them. My home, once my sanctuary from the stresses of work, is now a constant reminder of everything that’s gone wrong. Work has become the sanctuary, and home feels like the battlefield.

Every corner of this house tells a story of struggles, stress, and the endless worry about how I’ll make it through another day. So how do I go back to a life that no longer exists? I have to create a new life, a new version of myself, without the children I’ve spent so many years nurturing.

Thanks, Covid.

25 .The Cost of Social Media: A Parent’s Struggle to Protect Their Children

Well, here it is—the first consequence of the mobile phone pandemic that has swept through society this decade.

For those who don’t know, I’ve been locked in a constant battle with my children over their access to social media through smartphones. I made the tough decision to confiscate their phones until they turn 18. As you can imagine, this did not go over well.

The rebellion has led to full-blown defiance and a breakdown in family relationships. Was it worth the pain and strain? Honestly, yes. My only regret is not implementing this rule sooner and not believing in the decision I made with more conviction. One of my children now struggles with social anxiety—unable to have face-to-face conversations or relationships and only able to communicate over the phone. On the other hand, my other child isn’t reliant on their phone and has accepted the rule. She has a phone, but it’s not a smartphone, and as a result, she’s a better communicator and a more social individual.

As a single mum, trying to enforce this rule alone with little to no outside support has been HELL. To any parent wondering if it’s the right choice, only you can make that decision for your family. I wish you all the best.

04/01/2022

In light of the recent Olly Stephens tragedy, I’m even more certain I made the right decision—and I hope more parents now consider doing the same. We need to protect our children, even from themselves, because they don’t fully understand the dangers they’re exposed to. Social media and the internet are desensitising our children to crime, drugs, sex, and violence.

My thoughts go out to the families who have lost children to this madness

10/12/2025

I periodically revisit some of my pages to see whether my views have changed.The pain is still raw, although the world seems to be catching up. The release of Adolescents and My Violent Child are hopefully just the beginning. Unfortunately, it all comes too late for me, the damage has already been done, and I’m still living with the consequences.

24. Lying: A Natural Phase or Something We Teach Our Kids?

As a child, the instinct to lie often stems from not wanting to get into trouble. They’ve done something wrong, and they don’t want anyone to know. But why hide it? Likely because deep down, they know they shouldn’t have done it in the first place. If they know this, then why go ahead and do it?

Children love to test boundaries. They want to see what they can get away with, while as parents, we just want to make sure they’re safe. But sometimes, we need to step back and let them make mistakes. Let them experience the consequences of their actions so they can learn the value of doing what they’re told and so we can say, “I told you so.”

But here’s the real question: Is lying a natural part of growing up, or is it something we, as parents, have taught them?

Think about the small things. When we’re upset, we might tell them there’s nothing wrong, even when we’re crying or slamming doors. We might brush off their questions about someone or something they clearly saw.

What have we done by doing this? How can we scold them for lying when we’ve shown them how? Have they learned this behaviour from us, or from society?

The more we let them get away with lies, the less they’ll feel the weight of it. And that’s the problem we need to address as parents.

23. When the Ones You Love Cause You the Most Pain.

As a parent, your life revolves around creating a safe haven for your loved ones. But what happens when the people closest to you, your teens, who believe they’re fully grown, start influencing their siblings with their erratic behavior?

The pain of rejection from those you would die for is the deepest cut. How can someone you hold so dear cause you so much hurt, without a second thought? As parents, we often do what’s right, even when it breaks us. The last thing we ever want is to see our child hurt.

But when does the balance shift? When do the demands and wants of our children start to overshadow the need to guide them? There’s no way we’d let anyone lead our children down the wrong path knowingly. So why do we allow ourselves to be treated poorly by those we love most?

We’ve sacrificed so much left jobs, given everything to be there for them, but at some point, the time comes to shift. The demands of our children must become less, and we, as parents, must start demanding more in return.

Adolescence is about them learning to be adults, and we have to guide them through that process. But we also have to let go of the past and face the future. What was once a home filled with love is now a house that, if we’re not careful, will be used and abused.

Take back your home. Embrace the changes, and work with them in a way that suits YOU. After all, it’s still your home when they’ve all left.